Every year that we've been together, you’ve surprised me with beautiful hanging baskets and porch pots. Mother’s Day was always your holiday to shine. You wanted those flowers to last, to mean something, because you knew how deeply I love being a mom. A lot of years, they would just show up—no fanfare, no big … Continue reading To my Husband: Mother’s Day Without Your Flowers
mental-health
A Woman Holding on to a Man Letting go
I haven’t posted in a while. Not because things have gotten better, but because I was afraid I was trauma dumping. There's this guilt I carry, that sharing too much of the dark makes people turn away, that the more I say, the heavier it becomes not just for me, but for anyone reading. But … Continue reading A Woman Holding on to a Man Letting go
Held Together With Double-sided Tape and a Prayer
Maybe today I did wear a hat. At the very last minute, I decided I should make some sort of effort for the staff appreciation party at work. Not because I felt particularly inspired, and definitely not because I had it all together—but because I had just enough energy to try. The Easter decorations were … Continue reading Held Together With Double-sided Tape and a Prayer
Choking on Coffee and Holding Back Tears
This morning, I woke up thinking about rest and how badly I needed it after the night before. Sleep had been broken and restless, and my body ached from the emotional weight it carried yesterday. I barely made it through the day, running on fumes and emotions I couldn’t name. Today began with coffee. It’s … Continue reading Choking on Coffee and Holding Back Tears
3AM and Coffee
It’s 3AM again. The world is still, but my thoughts are anything but. I slip out of bed, careful not to wake the dogs. I've learned how to move quietly, like a ghost in my own home. The kitchen is dark except for the soft green glow of the microwave clock. I don't turn on … Continue reading 3AM and Coffee
When I Realized I Was the Broken Wife
Sometimes I go back and read the things I’ve written. The pieces soaked in sorrow, stitched with fear, lined with hope that feels thinner by the day. I read them as if I’m reading about someone else—this woman who is grieving, aching, fighting to keep going. And then, like a wave crashing in without warning, … Continue reading When I Realized I Was the Broken Wife
The Ugly Cries: When the Floor Is the Only Place Left to Fall
There are cries… and then there are ugly cries. I’m not talking about a few tears slipping down your cheek during a sad commercial or a quiet weep you can still hide behind sunglasses. I’m talking about the kind of cry that steals your breath, swells in your chest like a storm, and knocks you to … Continue reading The Ugly Cries: When the Floor Is the Only Place Left to Fall
The Broken Wife 